The more I reflect on my writing, the more I learn about myself which is, of course, a good thing. Ever since I began writing my mood has improved overall and my all time low moments are no longer quite so low, nor do they last quite so long, but I can always tell when I’m not feeling my best for one simple reason. When I don’t seem to want to write, or can’t seem to make myself do it, that’s when I know I’m not at my best. My bouts of depression, which of course come and go, are quite often the things that prevent me from writing, and that quite often puts me in what seems like a worse mood, but overall I have to remember that since writing I am no longer quite as much of a downer as I used to be.
I know that in the paragraph above I sound like quite the Donald-downer (couldn’t force myself to say Debbie-downer, sorry ladies), but I don’t ever believe that I was quite such a thing. I have always been quite the enjoyer of life, extracting the great moments of fun that I could from every day life and relishing in them, but I have had my moments, and still do. A doctor would probably prescribe me with one or more mood altering drugs, but I refuse such chemical dependencies for a variety of reasons. The main one being that I believe anyone can overcome and choose to be different from what they currently are, but that is another matter entirely.
Leave it to be said that writing is a gauge of my persona, and whether I write or not helps me decide what is truly going on in my life. Whether I ever publish, or even finish a single story, will not matter in the scheme of whether or not writing has improved my life. It has, and I am thankful for that to no end. Now if only I could plant my ass in the seat more often and focus to the end of a story, then rewrite and revise until completion.